How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sext me about skeletons
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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