Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
