gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
