Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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