Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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