1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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