Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I look better un-naked...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
