weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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