Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
