I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
