Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
