Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
