If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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