grandma shit on top of the toilet
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
