is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
