my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
