Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
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