i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
