Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.