Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you're like a bully in the Christmas story

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  (334): you're like a bully in the Christmas story http://tfl.nu/ntys
  Replies (3) Good night (761) Bad night (1832)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.

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  (250): i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay. http://tfl.nu/ht4h
  Replies (15) Good night (6717) Bad night (686)
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  (716): View more from New York

  dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex

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  (716): dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex http://tfl.nu/pkc8
  Replies (21) Good night (5666) Bad night (759)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.

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  (850): I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme. http://tfl.nu/wwup
  Replies (4) Good night (2049) Bad night (838)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night

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  (214): The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night http://tfl.nu/8pzt
  Replies (12) Good night (4739) Bad night (924)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!

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  (708): Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday! http://tfl.nu/a9dm
  Replies (8) Good night (2519) Bad night (868)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.

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  (573): you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment. http://tfl.nu/2sfo
  Replies (7) Good night (1913) Bad night (631)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.

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  (516): Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase. http://tfl.nu/afiw
  Replies (9) Good night (1682) Bad night (616)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it

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  (630): I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it http://tfl.nu/s57c
  Replies (5) Good night (683) Bad night (1755)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.

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  (618): I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high. http://tfl.nu/waf9
  Replies (4) Good night (1827) Bad night (611)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick

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  (774): stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick http://tfl.nu/dnwu
  Replies (10) Good night (1907) Bad night (704)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.

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  (423): A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice. http://tfl.nu/al3p
  Replies (0) Good night (998) Bad night (363)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.

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  (214): This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given. http://tfl.nu/z7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (956) Bad night (379)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.

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  (602): Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry. http://tfl.nu/s7rw
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (873)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.

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  (913): Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship. http://tfl.nu/0v8r
  Replies (3) Good night (307) Bad night (745)

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