Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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