fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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