i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.