I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
