You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
