My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
