I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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