I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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