Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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