He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
