i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize