worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
