I can tuck mytits in my pants
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
