I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
