yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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