found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
