If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
