it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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