His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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