i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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