The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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