ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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