Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
