get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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