Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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