Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize