On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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