4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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