There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
