i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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