it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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