Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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