Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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