i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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