I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
