Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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