she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
