One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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