The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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