just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
