the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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