nutella sex= disaster
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
