i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
