If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
