how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
