waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
tell me about the fingering
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