why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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