All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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